期盼一个人的安慰，

不如自己去静一静，

去听听歌，

让自己的心来安慰自己... ?

心烦的时候，

为何还是有那么多的障碍,

在最不对的时候，

为什么就是最需要一个人的时候.. ? 

人生也许该靠的是自己

想要依赖一个人，

那人未必会让你依赖

我觉得人性都是自私的

再怎么爱，再怎么在乎

其实最在乎的都是自己

"有人說,
愛是條河
 容易將柔弱的蘆葦淹沒

 有人說，
愛是把剃刀
 會任由你的靈魂淌血

 有人說，
愛是種饑渴
 一種無盡的帶痛的需求

 我說，
愛是一朵花
 而你，
只是花的種籽
 害怕破碎的心
 永遠學不會跳舞
 害怕醒來的夢
 永遠沒有機會
 不願吃虧的人
 不懂得付出
 憂心死亡的靈魂
 不懂得生活
 當夜顯得寂寞不堪
 去路顯得無盡漫長
 當你覺得只有幸運者
 及強者才有幸得到愛

 謹記，
在嚴寒的冬日裡 酷雪的覆蓋下，
躺著一顆種籽 一旦春陽臨照，
就能幻化成一朵玫瑰
..... "

The End Of The Year 2012

So life passed me by quickly,
I haven't been writing or updating so much in either Facebook or my blog anymore.

So far
This year has the biggest changes ever
I can't say it's good or bad
I think it's something in between

I'm no longer playing music
And it's a really really sad thing to say
Anyhow, if someone ask me what is my dream
My heart would always say,"music".

I don't go out that often anymore
And even when I do, I go with my girl

I don't play competitive gaming anymore
Kinda obvious reason eh?

Life to me
I feel lost
I feel complete
I feel incomplete

Everything is in between
I don't know how I feel actually
Because to me, I think nobody really knows what they are searching for in life right?

I feel pathetic most of the times
I'm 21 years old right now, and I haven't achieve anything yet
YET I'm still being stubborn, sticking to my own ego and theory on life

When I was young, if you ask me
I would say it's worth it
But now?
I'm not so sure anymore

I just gotta say
Life right now, I cannot say that I'm happy
But I cannot say that I'm sad either

I just feel lost
....

Holding On To What I Believe.

Still..

Believing in my ego and hope

Having strong faith in what I do

And still believing that one day I'll succeed.

Is it true that dreams can come true?

Just for the music dream, I've given up so much things

And I do regret some of the things that I've given up

We were so close

But in the end it didn't come out

Right now

All I hope for is a carefree life

2 months ago I was filled with hope

But I guess struggling in everything is necessary

Hopefully everything turn out okay for me

To be frank,

I'm quite lost at this moment

I've kinda lost direction on what to go for

But still

I keep on believing what's right

Even when my parents tell me I'm wrong

Is it worth it?

I doubt myself sometimes

Sometimes I just wanna give up

And live like everyone else

But we only live once eh.. ?

两个不同世界的一个爱

最近我们怎么了？

我感觉你离我越来越远了

...

这几天的我

已经失去了自我

我好想你

你知道吗？

看着你的照片

看着我们的照片

眼泪无法控制的留了下来

你让我好衰弱

这几天我真的是习惯了一个人坐着发呆

回想我们的回忆

回味我们的甜蜜

想着当时的我们

到今天的我们

只想问你一句

“你是不是累了？”

...

我需要你

真的是需要你

但是

你知道吗？

"I'll be there for you whenever you need me,

But would you do the same for me?"

我们的爱

我知道是一段很长的路

我也知道很辛苦

还记得我们要在一起时我问了你的那个问题吗？

的确是没有错

..

爱了就不会抱怨

爱了就觉得值得

爱了就是要付出

我从来不觉得累

但是我觉得我自己好失败

为什么我都不能让你开心？

为什么我一直让你伤心难过？

为什么我一直让你发脾气？

你说你脾气差

我真的好像成为那第一个不会让你轻易发脾气的人

看来我真的是做不到

每当我说了我的感觉

说了我的不安

都会让你误会

...

难道沉默真的是答案吗？

我们还是不是一样的坚强？

会不会放弃？

我担心了

担心这些泪水会让我们忘记了笑容

你会不会有天就告诉我你真的累了？

觉得不值得了？

你的个性真的是太好强了

我感觉我好像遇见了我自己

我也不能怪你

因为你就是另一个世界的我

...

而我也败给了你

写着写着

泪水也会流

我真的是很没用

我不是一个像你所说的男人

我也做不到你要的

再努力也是不够

...

我做了一些你不喜欢做的事

你一定会报仇..

这就是你

我也接受了

也没抱怨

但是你知道吗？

其实有很多东西你不喜欢我做的

你也做了

...

我却自己告诉我自己

小问题就忍

不想又说出来你又对我冷了

但是有时还是会说说你

你又不开心了

...

最近我的forex也输了蛮多钱

我很不开心啊..

我好想跟你抱怨这个

但是我都没有这个机会

每当我跟你说了，“我心情今天不好 ”

我多么期盼的 “不要不开心，我陪你” 一直都没得到

你都是说 “我今天也是心情不好”

..

我放下我的依赖

想反过来哄你

但是还是失败了

最后又是吵架

~

在你心中

我相信我的位置开始改变了

你说对吗？

我开始感觉到了

..

对不起

我没有钱

没有车

我什么都没有

我有的只是一颗爱你的心

还有我的坚持

对你来说也许不够

但是我真的很努力的给你更多了

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

我的脾气不好

我的尊严也很强

我有很多要求

也有很多自己的道理和信念

一直都傻傻的让你生气不开心

让你委屈了

但是我会一直爱你

一心一意的爱你

也不会背叛你

这样的我

你接受吗？

简单就是幸福

生命就是不停的追寻..

追寻什么？

没有人真正可以回答..

在这世界上，

其实人就是不知足，

才会一直不断的寻找更多..

其实我们人..

简简单单，开开心心跟我们的家人，我们爱的人一起过每一天，

就是最完美的幸福~

人一旦得到了，就觉得平淡，

想要更多的激情，

但是这所谓的激情又是什么？

激情得到了，

如果是不好的，就会让我们更加懂得珍惜“平淡”..

但是我们人，能经得起多少个激情呢？

万一太多的激情，而过不了其中一个，

那不就是放弃了“平淡”，放弃了幸福吗?

生命可以很简单，

也可以很复杂..

每个人所求的都不一样..

学会珍惜，

学会知足，

就是最简单，最平淡的幸福..

剩下的一切，得到的只是暂时的快乐，暂时的笑容...

这暂时的快乐，

真的能胜过这长久的幸福吗？

我们人就是只看到短暂的快乐，短暂的一切，

却看不到我们已经有的幸福..

The Year 2012

Life has never been perfect for me

But I accept it for what it is.

2012 is a big change,

In fact, it is the biggest~

I've lost a lot of things,

Friends, my best friend, all the time when nothing else matter, and of cause a lot more including my dreams.

But not saying that I regret anything,

Personally I don't think that people should ever feel regret over something because everything has a choice, and we are the ones making it.

I've lost a lot of things,

But at the same time I've gained something extraordinary, too

I'm now officially involved in Forex trading and I'm loving it,

My dream work, so far so good and hopefully it stays like this forever.

I've met someone and now she plays a really big part in my life,

She's everything I have ever wanted and at the same time, everything that I'm afraid of.

Sound complicated eh? But it's not that bad

I feel grateful :) ♥

我崩溃的时候

只是要你的陪伴

~

其实在我心里

很多东西都不是像你想的那样

是你误会我了

...

Life?

Life's hard
Everything is literally going against me right now
Everything I do
Career
Dream
Love
Money
What's next?

I've got myself into something I really don't know what to do
From what it seems,
I'm the bad guy
I'm the one hurting people
But when you look behind all these, you'll find something so much different
Everything I do is for the rights of everyone
Yet everyone thinks that I'm the bad guy

But that's me I guess?
Me and my so-called kind heart
I'm hurting myself for you guys ;')

Hopefully things get better
I'm sorry for those that I hurt
But if you're one of them and reading this,
I think you guys deserve to know that,
There's a reason behind everything I do

I'm sorry
Put the blame on me

My Life's A Mess

Sometimes I really do wonder
Why do I hold on so much to my ego?
What's up with my believing?
And me chasing my dream?
Is it possible?

Until today I still chose to believe
Because that's what keeps me alive
But that's also what makes everything so hard

Seriously?
Living the dream?
It's really a long hard road
And I'm still struggling to get through
I never wanna walk back to the reality

But somehow
Is it worth it?
Sometimes I'm doubting myself, what would happen in the end?
Would I really be happy when I achieve that so-called dream?
What if I regret everything?

Another Update ~

Hey guys
It's me again
And I'm so sorry for the lack of updates!

Life is getting tough on me
I've kinda lost my direction and I don't know what should I go for.
If I go for my dream, money is a problem.
But if I go for the money, I'm not happy!
What should I do guys?

Seriously life's a mystery :/
By the way guys I'm just writing whatever is on my mind so this post might be not-so-organized
Forgive me :(

Guys
Is it possible to literally use music / playing as a band to make a living in MALAYSIA?

New Hope New Life

Hey
As you guys know this blog is kinda dead
And I really try my best to keep it alive
Sorry!
I don't really have time for myself too now
I'm busy with my business, training, band and yes.. life itself.

Everything I do is for the future now
And hopefully everything go smoothly
One day I'll achieve everything that I need
I believe :)



And yeah
I miss Vaz.. so much
Everything I do I think of him :(
Sigh~~ ...
This blog is full of him..
Memories.. I never realized that those days were actually the best..
How much I wish I can live like that again.. With him beside me

Guys
For those that are still following my blog
I appreciate it
Believing something fully is something powerful
And I believe in everything I do
Because I know I can and I know it will.

Picking Up The Pieces

I've suddenly realized that I've neglected this blog for a long time
As you guys know, I've been through a really rough time..
So much pain, so much lost, and so much suffering that me and the people around me have to go through..

I personally lost my best friend,
A guy that I see everyday
A guy that went to the same primary school with me
A guy that went to the same high school with me
A guy that went to the same academy with me
Someone that I know for 13 years
And without me noticing it, he has always been the best friend deep in my heart

Every time there's a quiz or anything with questions like, "write a friend's (male) name that come to your mind," and no doubt that would be you..

Life's really hard for me now..
Things changed
I have so much to worry about
And I really wanna fulfill everything that he ever wanted

This blog has so much memory of us together
And I'm gonna make it alive again..

I miss you my friend..
I miss you.. Kiat..

Rest In Peace..

Life's really tough for me right now
I lost my closest friend, Vaz
And he's not coming back anymore

It just hurts so much to lose a best friend
Someone that I see everyday
Things will not be the same anymore without you, friend
Things are so quiet and cold
I realize that
You're actually the one that always hype everyone up
And now you're gone
Everything's so cold

I lost so much motivation without you
Do you remember our dreams?
We were planning to start a salon of our own
We were planning to play music together
But what can I do now?
I don't wanna do this alone

I'm really sorry
Maybe I wasn't a good friend
I always showed my anger when you did something wrong
But if there's another chance
I'd definitely smile that you're still here doing those things

At this moment
I really realize that there aren't much in life
Life's simple when the people you love are around

I miss you so much
Can you feel it?
Are you at somewhere far away?

快点回来！

请大家帮我的好朋友, Vaz 祈祷
让他早点回到我们身边

快醒来啊，陈世杰！
快回来！
加油
我知道你能听到我们在帮你加油打气的
不要让我们失望！
大家都很支持你，一直都在你身边帮你祈祷
快醒来，度过这个难关
我们知道你能的！
千万不要放弃！

快回来！

Hold on

My buddy , Vaz is in the hospital right now
Let us all pray for him
Hold on & Stay strong
And wake up
For us
...

Sunday Morning

Hey guys
Sorry for not updating for this past few days
My life's kinda boring
And I'm facing emotional breakdown :P

It's Sunday today and yes I will be home today . (Yes seriously)
Maybe watching DVDs, or playing Champions Online.
+ I'm gonna watch lots and lots of DotA replays
Because I have an upcoming competition on March
And there's a big chance we can go very far, so I don't wanna miss this chance
But last night I already lost 3 matches
Due to the fact that I haven't touch DotA for weeks
Long way to catch up!

Oh yeah
Yesterday I went to a friend's house to do some kind of Disney music mashup for their performance
It was really fun, I mean maybe it was something that has to do with music :)
But I kinda suck :(
For unable to figure out chords that quickly
Have to give my ears some training so they can be really really sensitive

By the way
Am I really turning into Ah Beng !?
I don't know where I got this from but I really do feel like I'm some kind of low-class ah beng guy + all negative things some more.
What's wrong with meeeeeeeeeeeee
FML if I become one

Gonna stop right here
Next post I'll promise some pictures!
.... hopefully.

Tata

P/S. What is wrong with my chatbox?? Grr

Sick ~ 哎哟！

Yay another Chinese post！

今天没去 Rigi II~
因为又生病了~ 唉~
有时真的觉得自己很老牙咯~
一点点就生病！
感觉到自己好弱哦~~弱者 Lon ~~　Ｔ＿Ｔ



身体生病就不要经了，最近心也好像生病了～
都感觉怪怪的．．．　
好像很多烦恼
不知道我真正要的是什么

有个冲动想放弃做头发
好像做些需要灵感的东西　＋　有自由的事
想到我头都要爆了啦。。



其实大家都应该知道我真正的梦想，真正想做的是玩音乐吧？
可是这条路太难走了．．
又没有保证的未来
搞不好以后真的是吃草啊．．　

我的团友也不太有玩了
我想这个梦想是不可能能实现的了

Ｂｙ　Ｒａｂｂｉｔ:D

最近又烦该不该做那个 Score A~~
你们觉得怎样哦？
能做吗？
唉~ 做得好的话，我的愿望梦想都可以实现的哦！
但是我听好多人都说没那么容易哦，再加上我觉得好像很不适合我叻。。
我个性这么静，有那么被动，怎样去找人哦？
可是我又很想试试看~~
怎么办哦？

哈哈，
为了我梦想的人生，我真的是烦了不少
我觉得还是顺其自然吧？
可是有时我又觉得要自己努力才能争取我们自己想要的东西
对吗？

让我为我自己加油吧~~！

GOGOGOGOGO!!

Officially back ! =.=v

So I just got back my computer last night
And the guy told me it was my wire problem
That's why I couldn't open my computer
Grr

Some bad news
I'm not gonna write about my China / Hong Kong trip
Because there's too many photos
And too many things to write
8 days somemore
Sorry people :(

But I'm just gonna upload some of my photos when I was in Hong Kong to redeem myself :P
Hopefully it works XD

I kinda like this photo :P

Me in my sexy leather jacket =.=v

Feeling vain in the morning
Maybe because I breath in too much HK air :P

Me and Albert Einstein :P